Background: Having now crossed the half-century mark in age, I am more introspective now then in my younger years. I believe this is partly because my children are raised and I have more time to be introspective… Thus, I have become keenly intrigued by how we live our age decades: teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, etc., the specifities of the different generations and our interactions between generations.
20s… Remember your 20s? What was it like? Mine was all about continuing my journey from my teens of finding myself, my voice, who I was? For me it was college, graduating, my first few jobs, early first marriage, no kids, Friday nights eating out with friends, and not believing 30 could come so soon. At that time it seemed like we were so old when we turned 30. bahahahahahahahaha
30s… Since I didn’t have my twins until I was 34, my 30s was my kid raising decade that bled into my 40s. I remember this decade with great affection–growing up with my twins through their toddler years and then celebrating the first day of kindergarten. I largely watched animated movies in this decade rather than adult fare. But, every day was a discovery day – how the world worked, the beauty and awe of nature, and the awesome parent-child time of hugs and kisses and bedtime stories. We were in our own little universe and the world swirled around us. Today a growing number of young people don’t even marry until their 30s. What are/were your 30s like for you? Joys, regrets, peace made?
40s… In this decade,while my siblings who had their children in their 20s were launching their kids, I was deep into the school years of parenting. I became a 24/7 mom taxi for school and rec sports and our home became a depository for stinky socks and half eaten PBJs and our washer and dryer ran 24/7. But the JOY that came from seeing my children grow up during this decade was priceless. The only sad part of this decade was the ending of my marriage to my first husband. He is a good man and loving father, and we tried for 22 years to be for each other the husband and wife neither of us were. Finally, in spite of us loving each other, we had nothing left to give each other and so it was time to end it and each of us begin a new life chapter. On my deathbed I will still regret that we couldn’t make it work for the sake of our children. Children do survive and adapt to share their love at three or four homes for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And parents go on to be who they are and need to be, and are happy once again to give their full love to their children. But divorce will always be the break-up of the original nucleus. What are/were your 40s like for you?
50s… This decade brought me financial freedom, which is something during my raising kids decades I never had. It also brought me time and freedom, including the freedom to sleep in on weekends that I hadn’t seen since my 20s. My twins graduated from high school and went off to college, and were blessed with a family education trust from their Dad’s family that paid for their schooling. I celebrated turning 50 by getting a sailboat tattoo above my ankle as a shout-out to aging—“I’m a sailing rebel!” I also, like many other divorced 50 year olds, ventured into online dating, because where else are you going to meet someone? And, like others, after many, many dates with nice guys, but it wasn’t the right match for either of us, I found what a thought was my prince. We had a great 7 year relationship full of daily laughter. In the end, I was a country girl and he had become a city boy, and the relationship ended. It was sad. It hurt. I loved him. But he was also quite stubborn. And so it goes, I will try again. The only downside to this decade so far, is that the damn aging process is really taking hold. But, I have vowed to embrace it and laugh my way through it, this too being part of the life cycle.
60s…Wow, I was not ready to turn 60. I embrace aging as a natural process of the life cycle, but getting to age 60 took me by surprise! When did that happen? 60?? I still feel 50, but the mirror and my birth certificate do not lie. Other friends of mine had turned 60 and survived quite well, and I have friends in their 70s and 80s with active lifestyles who I look up to. So here I went… For my 60th b-day my children and a few close friends celebrated my birthday at a drag show in Kansas City. All the b-day people in the audience were brought up on stage and introduced individually. Let’s just say I held my own with the rest of the group.
Also, to celebrate 60 some members of my high school class took a 60th b-day cruise and that was so fun to celebrate turning 60 together! And finally, I gave myself a personal present for my b-day in the way of cosmetic surgery on my genetically droopy eyes. I am not an advocate of severe plastic surgery when you age, as there are a number of celebrities who look like they either had a bad plastic surgeon or they overdid it. For me, there is nothing more pathetic than when your face looks 50, but your legs scream 70! To me that signifies a woman who is not grounded in reality. For my minor eye surgery, I took out a small cosmetic loan, no interest if paid off in 3 years. I am quite happy with the results and glad that I gave myself this birthday present.
But enough about the physical side of aging, what is it mentally like to turn 60? For me it was a realization that 60 is truly the start of the downhill slide to our eventual passing on. While my health is good, I am going to spend this decade traveling as much as possible and enjoying life to the fullest every day! And, I hope in my 70s to repeat this as well. But that’s only 20 SHORT YEARS, so life MUST be ENJOYED EACH AND EVERY DAY to the FULLEST!